-I^2- 3.0 Defence of the Heart


	Insanity_In-Solitude Name: Efate Blue. Age: 19. Color: Blue. Month: July. Season: Winter. In A Word: Cold. Likes: Philosophy,Poetry. Dislikes: People,Stupidity. Contact: ICQ: 75823146 AIM: Efate Blue		{E-MAIL}
	Personal Links: Yonagi: Mine H.Terrain: Magz' Seraphitic: Hug Magnet's Game Links: Team Pokemon: Ken-chan/Fox's FFPBeM: FFPBeM main list SlayersRPG: K's Site of the moment: Temple O' Trunks Check out 'Meri's assortment of Anime/Music videos... they're sweeeeet. Past Archive		Friday the 1st of March. Break me, Shake me, Hate me, Take me over. Some days, I just feel totally broken, like somebody took a sledgehammer to my heart and then glued it back together with cheap pvc. Emotions, pain and hate all run through me in a spiral. Its a day when I really should just go off and be alone. But there's another more sinister side to it. On these days Im just compelled to break others. To hurt them so that they feel a pain like mine. When I want to be like this, please, let me be alone. Im so glad, I havent felt broken now for a long time. Maybe, Im really fixed. -ToDo List- -Love: Life- -Hate: Pain- -Dance: de Chocobo- -Find: FF1 opening midi- There is a garden, not to far from here, thats been without gardener for too long. Within this garden, many kinds of plants grow from a single kind of seed. Each time a new seedling grows within the garden, it has one urge. To grow bathed in sunlight and become a beautiful flower. However, the thorns of other plants tear the fragile flowers, the seedling forced to give up, becoming just another barrier of thorns. We live in a garden, we must nurture the flowers within others, and protect them from our thorns. If we ever want to see how beautiful the garden can really be. Wednesday the 27th of Febuary. Constant Bleed. I am the healthiest person I know. I have an aversion to anti-biotics and me being in hospital is a rare occassion. This doesnt mean however that I am free of ailments or fit. Sitting at this computer for a year has taken its toll of my once, proudly strong, leg muscles to the point where a 25 minute walk caused excertion. I was horrorfied, I used to take in hour walks in Darwin's blistering tropical heat and still have enough pep to enjoy a day of gaming and anime. Its time, to get off my very comfortable computer chair and get fit. I do want to live past 30 if thats possible. -ToDo List- -Love: Cookies, Ice-cream- -Hate: The modern world- -Dance: The tango- -Praise: the Lord- Rage your dream. The only thing more annoying than an a stubborn moron is a stubborn moron who thinks themself intelligent. Tuesday the 26th of Febuary. Banana, Vanilla, Chocolate & Chocobo. Today started bad, couldnt sleep, slept for the exact 2.5 hours that morning cartoons were in and then had to get up for an apointment. But from there it became great, and I dont mean pleasent great. Oh no, this is the real deal. Im sitting here eating banana/vanilla ice cream with chocolate topping looking at the design I did for the vinya site. (It looks better than I thought it would.) A few hours ago mother brought me some of the most delicious chips I've ever eaten and I took a single step forward. It may not seem like much but this feeling of self worth may just carry me to new heights of stunning happyness beyond belief. Oh and Im actualy doing some drawring now, artists block begone~! -ToDo List- -Tell: Koneko-chan- -Talk to: Ken-chan- -Dance with: An angel- -Drink: Water- Ken-chan, I -may- just take up your offer, no offence but I think you RP/write+reason like a 7 year old. If somebody kills another person, they will either be changed or they will be psycho. If an organized crime ring is going to make a base too large to hide they will make it look like a legal business, and they will not leave a base without destroying the evidence. If its a pokemon RPG let the friggin pokemon do the fighting. Im tired of roleplaying with '7-year-olds' I want more games like group 3 where people have a clue. Monday the 25th of Febuary. My day was made, in Canada. I think, I must have exhausted myself by 'Dancing' to much after I saw it. Magz (Website Design Sempai.) Has added my little page to his links collection, and I got my own post. ^__^ Im happy, very. More so that he wasnt really avoiding adding me for fear that I would scare off all his net friends. I am a scary... scary... person. Oh well. Snoopy Dances. -ToDo List- -Seek: A reason- -Talk to: Keishinmander- -Dance with: Kabukichu- -Give to: Whoever asks- Then I fell asleep after dinner and woke up feeling like a stuffed roasted thing with a stomach ache. Its a good thing I dont really hang around any ausi blokes anymore... If I told anyone that I didnt know that the olympics were on until it was over would I would be un-blokey. Sunday the 24th of Febuary. Sempai hits with a coded table. I tried to point out the idea's that some websites deserve to be shot to him, he turned in full learned ness and smacked me with a coded table. It wasnt just any coded table, he could have knocked over a bull with that thing. He said: Webdesigner Rule #1: Don't look down on others; we all started somewhere ^_^ I pondered this as my training continued... I wondered out loud if people still looked down on my sites... He answered: Webdesigner Rule #2: There is always somebody higher in the food chain than you =P Such wisdom gripped me, how is it that I lose my own mental vision when something strikes to close to my heart? Thirsting for another lesson, in hopes of self betterment I asked the final rule: Webdesigner Rule #3: Don't ask what the rules are =P -ToDo List- -Seek: Enlightenment- -Apologise to: Ken-chan- -Stop thinking about: Stupid people- -Give hugs to: Whoever needs- And then, more practice, for one day, I hope to meet the Sempai again, but then as an equal. Sunday the 24th of Febuary. Surrender the blue earth to me! I dont know why, or really when it happened but I know now that its effects are visible to my mind... but Ive become really internally abusive against sites with more flaws than my own. I look at them and just think: What a waste of space... more dead data. I feel the need to abuse people who make a big fuss about having a great site (Especially if that site is crud.) There are at least half a dozen sites out there that I surf through regularly where I know I can make a better design or even beter content than they already have. Its not like this is a new thing, but before I started putting up my sites in Yonagi I was content to just say 'Save it for when You have attained better.' Now I feel like Ive attained it even though Im still improving but urgh. What am I meant to do. -ToDo List- -Express dislike for: Bad site design- -Express dislike for: Stupid people- -Express dislike for: Ken-chan- -Give hugs to: Kabuki- I suppose I could always offer to take over the sites in question, heck, I know Ive done it before and I plan to do it again. As soon as I've made that Vinya site, I'll offer again. Yes... I think I shall do that tonight. Saturday 23rd of Febuary. In the End, it doesn't even matter. Its angry, its loud, and apparently its very popular among the makers of DBZ music video clips. Linkin Park's music has a large appeal to a lot of people... but I wonder if any of them share my reasons to like it... -ToDo List- -Express dislike for: Open Journals- -Express dislike for: 'Blogs'- -Express dislike for: Ken-chan- -Give hugs to: Kabuki- -Get a: Life- -Get a: Chocolate milk- -Get a: goal- How can a person be completely Open (Journal) to those that forced them to close up in the first place... they cannot be so what should be true is false. Ken-chan, you suck. You are everything I don't like about DBZ. You could at least make us a decent site for Team 8 in the game. Blogs popular, in the majority. That's the only reason I need.
	Site: As hearts grow, every time they are hurt, they place another sharp defense around themselves. Eventually, hearts, have trouble getting close to one another. Because each is to desperately trying to protect itself.